A Person’s A Person
He stems in the chair watching his favorite movie,
Arms dancing wildly into the air
Like a chill up your spine.
He moans, eyes lost in the waves of colors
That dance across the television;
A language you will never understand.
His torso rocking his body
Back and forth, forth and back
Beating into the pillow that you have placed behind him.
You listen, ever so closely for the music in his mind.
Looking for a chance to cut in
And feel his heart beat against yours once again.
Laughter cries outside
As bicycles go by
But nobody stops to knock on your door.
You remember the day
You crammed for parenthood
Buying every book on Autism you could find.
But they lied.
They never prepared you for this.
You blink and find yourself spoon feeding your son.
The high-chair sold years ago,
Airplane now a game to test your dexterity.
You can’t remember the last time you dreamt,
Days become weeks, weeks become months,
Hope is a four-letter word in the dictionary of your life.
He pauses, his first break all day.
You know that look,
But it’s too late to rush him to the bathroom.
You sit with him, humming into his ear.
Pinning his arms against his body with your left arm
Combing his hair with your right.
And he says, “I love you.”